Toilet Paper Math

I understand that some folks out there are hoarding toilet paper because they are panicked and need to have at least a modicum of control in their lives and they have chosen to control the roll.  I am hoping that this group is actually smaller than buying indicates, allow me the fantasy.  I want to assume that a major part of the problem is that an abundance of bathrooms and the only partial use of the home during the day has led to folks being unable to properly estimate their actual toilet tissue use.

Here I can help! You see I haven't lived in a house with more than one bathroom in over 40 years, with only one to restock the math becomes easy.  Keep in mind that additional bathrooms will not increase the actual daily usage, extra rooms do not equal extra bowel movements, just more places to clean. We have also homeschooled from the start and I have one college graduate, she moved away, a second almost college graduate (May!!) commuting to school, and a third in college, the two students are still at home.  So we have years of bathroom use, with all the bodies at home a lot of the time, and with a mostly female population, which does make a paper difference.

So my estimates may be a little high for an all male household, but it will not leave you empty handed. With four females and one male daily use is one full (double or triple) roll of 2-ply tissue. This increases only slightly one week per month, add 2 rolls to be sure.  Now you need only adjust for single ply if you opt to make that choice, your number of rolls will increase quite a bit.  Only two people in the house, cut those numbers by at least half.  You have 8 at home all day, then double everything.

If you want more accurate numbers for your house, you only need to have everyone use just one bathroom for a 24 hour period, put in a fresh roll at the beginning of the test period and see what is left at the end.  You should have a spare roll in the designated bathroom, just in case you are using single ply, or have a larger than average household. Now you are ready to shop.

You want stock for 30 days?  Here I would need about 32 rolls of tissue for the 30 days, 45 days? 47 rolls, 60 days? 64 rolls.  There is no way I would need a pallet full of toilet paper for this 2 month period, if would merely take up extra space in the basement. So do your math, and you will have on hand exactly what you need and more space for storage of bottled water.

If you do the math and find out you have overbought, feel free to take it back to Target, or share it with your neighbor who failed to estimate accurately, or was unable to purchase the proper amount because someone else followed some poorly thought out numbers.