Happy New Year?

We are days from the beginning of another year, a time when reflection on the past and how to improve the situation are top of mind. I bought a lottery ticket for the first time in 20 years, and of course didn't win last Tuesday, jackpot is now over 200 million, do we need another? Is one dollar the price of hope today? One simple buck and dreams and miracles play in one's brain until the smiling lotto lady dashes them a day or two later. It would be nice, my siblings all agreed to share their 96 million if they won, but holding that ticket would certainly change my life.

Number one my husband's and daughters' anxiety would diminish to the point where I bet we could discontinue therapy within 2 months. Or would all that available cash just cause more worry? I might just have a heart attack when I read off the numbers and realized I had won, and then how in the world does one turn the ticket in without revealing oneself so as to avoid the whole publicity thing and potential thieves. It is beginning to sound complicated. I have to think about this trade off.

I could vastly improve my living conditions, here I see no drawbacks or complications I could even tolerate continued housing within the arctic circle so my daughters could keep their friends as I could actually jet off the warmer climates on a weekly basis if necessary. We would call them "geography lessons" on our homeschooling transcripts.

I could fund our little theatre enterprises including space for whatever we need. Now the only drawback here is I already need a business manager, an accountant, and someone for property management. I think I could handle these complications with the right people in place. This would also allow time for the whole creative aspect of the theatrical business that I do like. I would hire drones as needed too, or maybe just one full time specialist for each technical area that came with the space. That could work, privately funded of course so I don't have to deal with unions. Or wait... will that happen too. Another concern.

We would move but do we change churches? We are a bit entrenched in our current parish, maybe a large donation earmarked for something special before we leave would make departure easier. We should really have moved on three years ago, before we hit the high school problem. Daughter #1 is pretty well schooled in the tenets of her faith, her sisters lack a bit in that area making them less able to defend their faith as they will need to at their current home church, or with their friends. Leaves them much more open to heresy problems. O K this question deserves its' own post and I don't know if it is good or bad so I will just move on.

We would get the cash discount on the dual braces, which would be lovely, and have all the dental nonsense taken care of with nary a concern. Here again no drawbacks it would just make it faster and less painful for the parents. Thinking about this, is insurance necessary for those who have mega millions? I mean does Oprah carry any kind of insurance? And if so why? When all those bills are just inconsequential to your personal budget, wouldn't eliminating the hassle of insurance companies be a dream come true? No pretreatment permission, no referrals, no arguing over what is a medical necessity and what is not, this would keep my mail box much emptier. I guess the car thing you would have to continue, I would push for getting rid of laws that make insurance a requirement, if you can pay your own way why bother.

I could give people jobs, this would be very cool, I could even employ my children if needed. And my special needs girls could go to Landmark for as long as they needed. This would be way fun, we could also visit Vermont and family on a more regular basis, plan family events twice a year, travel, etc. Only challenge here is homeschool becomes more difficult. This shouldn't happen but the fun option sometimes interfere with certain academics. More choices can be overwhelming, I know they learn from all sorts of things but touring Ireland would put algebra on the back burner, and rightfully so but, when do we schedule that math?

Time is running out and this is getting wordy, and I need a lottery ticket. If I win...well, we will live with the consequences tough as it is. And if we don't it will be a good new year anyway.

Happy New Year 2011

Christmas is here! We are settled in and looking forward to an evening with 34 celebrants, lots of laughter, card playing and food. Well I guess Christmas eve is here, but we are celebrating anyway.

We managed to leave town within one hour of our plan, and the house was only a partial disaster area. Thanks to the bigger folks in the household. Number one daughter and co-blogger made herself most helpful, vacuumed and scrubbed so I didn't have to do quite so much. Spousal unit was also in on the house saving mission, we managed to get enough done, leave calmly, without forgetting anything of major importance. Except some make-up, folks will just have to live with the real face this holiday season.

Holiday choices

Christmas rushes to meet us, and frantic activity keeps the house humming. Of course it creates more disaster too. We closed our theatrical season for the fall last weekend and I was sure I would have time to correct the lack of housekeeping that has occurred because of costuming three shows back to back. I was wrong, we leave town in just a few days and holiday tasks keep forcing vacuuming to the bottom of the list. I do have a couple of good excuses, I was under the weather for a couple of days after the last show, and our 20 year old water bed sprang a couple of leaks. Leaky beds cause extra laundry, and cleaning tasks one just doesn't keep on a todo list. The bed is full and quiet, tonight the real test of patched seams begins.

Now for decisions, I need to decide what is unnecessary in the next couple of days because I really want to participate in all the social events on my calendar before we leave town. Said social events will eat up all evenings prior to travel and force gift purchase and prep into the earlier hours of the day, which in turn forces housekeeping into the very early am hours, which I really hate. I guess this means we come home from Christmas break to a dirty house.

I could become a raving lunatic and turn off all electronics until we leave town but that would certainly put the kybosh on holiday spirit, somehow I have failed to instill the need for order in one's surroundings to any of my offspring. While I feel the clutter strangling me they are one and all oblivious. "Mom it's just gonna get messed up again" I am regularly told. We also are in the home stretch of gift creation and construction, each and every homemade gift leaves a trail of craft materials in its' wake. So surrender seems the only sensible thing to do, I will just have to close my eyes and take long slow calming breaths as I trip over tasks in my house.

It's Christmastime! (Also known as, I am actually going to try and start writing about life.)

Man, you can definitely tell my mother works in a bookstore.

Anyway. Hello, followers of three. I think I'm going to have to start promoting this place on Facebook. I feel like nobody reads this. HEY, I HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE TOO!

So. As you can tell by the title, I'm actually going to start writing sometimes. When I remember. Shocking, right? I'll start updating so mom doesn't feel so alone by herself, writing about all of her newest book finds.

This post is boring already. Crap.

Okay. So, life as we know it... hectic, as lives tend to be. We're in the middle of one tech week - for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a week of intense rehearsals (for us, lasting only for 3-6 hours per day) during the week preceding the opening of a show - for my show, "An Ideal Husband" by Oscar Wilde. Plus, I've got my first college final next week (AAAAH!) and I hafta make christmas presents for everyone.

There's a lot going on.

Plus, we're in the middle of Advent... which is always bittersweet. It's full of joy (the one time when I'm not so uptight about spending money...) but it's also pretty stressful. I love making presents for my friends cause it feels way more personal. I don't mind buying presents for friends, but I love making presents because I love putting lots of time and effort into people's gifts.

I love the way the bottom of the tree mushrooms with presents right before Christmastime. I love hanging up ornaments and I love putting up twinkle lights around my room. I love hot chocolate and the warmth of watching classic movies like "White Christmas" and different types of Christmas music playing everywhere you go.

Oh, there's something to talk about. Christmas music. I love it, a lot. But only around Christmas time. I hate when people sing Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Like, come on, guys, there's plenty of other music out there and Christmas music is kinda specific to one month. And there's a lot of boring Christmas music out there too. I don't mind all the classics, like Bing Crosby and all that, but I love alt/rock music and I want to listen to some fun artists singing the classic songs interspersed with the originals, you know? There's just too much of the same a lot of the time.

So, I went on a rock Christmas song rampage a few days ago! And it's pretty amazing what I found... I didn't think that I would be able to find that much. And boy, did I find some cool things! A lot of bands have singles, but there's still quite a few good full albums from nice artists. iTunes had its Single of the Week last week as "Wish List" by Neon Trees (one of my favorite bands) and I practically died. It started the aforementioned rampage.

I had already had holiday singles by Fall Out Boy, The Ready Set, Something Corporate and Never Shout Never on my iPod unknowingly but I also discovered cool Christmas music by Weezer, Relient K and a super cool compilation album called "Winter Songs". And I've also been working on getting "Noel" by Josh Groban and Michael Buble's Christmas EP. YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH.

Christmastime is also just a fun time for family. It's always so warm and cuddly and I just love it. It's probably my favorite season of the year.

So, to end this all, I'll be writing more often and trying to make my posts more interesting. Adieu.

Breathe

I have taken off 3 days now from the manic activity of costuming and am beginning to feel guilty and know I will pay for the respite. But at the same time think the time to breathe is necessary. It gives me time to reflect, plan, panic, and hopefully reorganize to maximize the next couple of weeks.

If it were just the shows I know it would be more manageable but with attempting to homeschool amid the chaos, planning a dance event shortly after Christmas, and taking on the "Cookie Mom" position for two troops, it all seems a bit overwhelming and I have to take the time to remember to breathe.

Bridge

I never read as many books as I would like, last year I was gifted with a contact who was actually on the Newbery committee, she threw books at me all year and I felt much a part of the process and in touch with last year's book selections. But this year I am once again on my own and wander through the shelves noting favorite authors and hoping to find new loves. One I tripped over this year was Louis Sachar's most recent YA novel called "The Cardturner." My mother who seldom reads kid books asked me to get her a copy so of course I read it.

This is as story about a young man who for lack of anything better to do, no girl friend, no job, a summer stretching in front of him, turns cards for his blind great-uncle at the local bridge club. Turning cards, turns Alton's life in many directions but never loose. Trapp as his uncle is best known, is something of a crumudgeon, but you'll admit, rightly so, as you learn his history. Trapp's passion for bridge is contagious Alton is soon caught up in his web along with his sister, and an attractive young girl named Toni. Ultimately Toni and Alton help Trapp achieve an ancient desire for a national Bridge championship. You'll have to read it yourself for the details. But beware!

I hate bridge, I was raised by bridge players, there were regular bridge parties when I was growing up. We loved the morning after bridge night, the house reeked of cigarette smoke. Leftover bridge mix, chex mix and some sweet treat became breakfast for the first ones up. But we all learned to play bridge at about the age of 10, or started to. You sat at the table and they talked you through bidding, counting your points, and were forever saying things like "Well you Know he has the queen of hearts..." I never thought this was fun, it always required copious amount of mental concentration. You had to remember what was played, who played it, what was trump, and why you were sitting there at all. I never understood how you could ever carry on even a simple conversation while playing, and I really preferred talking. So after a couple of years I never volunteered to be the fourth, I usually found a hiding spot till the table was full. I knew I hated bridge, I could barely tolerate Hearts or Spades, which required much less effort than bridge. But after reading this book, I just knew I wanted to learn to play bridge again.

I wasn't alone in this desire. I have one daughter who abhors all sitdown games, board, card, doesn't matter she doesn't want to play. We were listening to "The Cardturner" and about halfway through my eldest says "We should really learn to play bridge." A voice from the back seat joins in "Grandma would teach us." "Miss No Games" from the third row back says "I think I could learn to play." I was shocked, but knew then it wasn't just me, this book creates a desire in the audience to play bridge.

Trapp was aptly named!

I have six years to find a job. When my youngest two head to college at the same time additional money sources will be required. Believe it or not when I was young and in the throes of women's liberation, watching weekly protests of all sorts of oppression, I really only wanted to be one thing, and that was a mother. This wasn't something a young college female would admit at that time, well, yes many would admit to the desire for motherhood, but not for the entire stay at home mother package. We were expected to want more, it was the only way you could be fullfilled, that stay at home parenting was so passe, so boring. You would lose yourself and never maximize your potential. Besides, you could always have children AND a job, no problem. 'Twas hogwash then and remains so.

We have learned in the intervening 30 years that parenting in a dual income household is frought with problems. I know I tried it. With only one child and an amazing childcare provider but it was still challenging. I really marvel at those who continue to live that life and wonder what they choose to leave out. Sleep? Family dinner? I know there are omissions because you really can't have it all. I remember trying and exhausting my self and can't imagine how you can do it with teenagers who are so like overgrown toddlers with their needs. I am sure that our plethera of communication choices offers more options for staying in touch, but I know it doesn't replace being there. Raising childen at home is a full time job, so if you work outside the home you have at least two full time jobs, that's 80 hours of work in a good week. When I did work outside the home what I missed most was just not being there to witness the marvel of my children. It is moments that can take your breath away and bring tears to your eyes, and they are just moments, flashes and they are gone and can never be recovered. Somebody else got dozens of those moments with my oldest daughter, moments I missed, that I only heard about and couldn't really treasure as mine.

This raising of children takes time, and it is a race against the clock. What seems like an eternity when they are born becomes frighteningly short as adolescence charges into your life. Not that toddlers don't take time and energy, there were those days when my husband came home to find all 4 of us in tears, but the time is filled with providing. You are cleaning, feeding, chasing, redirecting, exhausted by the routines that make you doubt your stay at home choice. But I am finding the teen years out distance the toddler ones in that time category. They scream for it more often but when offered, it isn't unusual for them to just sulk and ignore you. I have gone for a walk with my daughter, we hoofed it for two hours before her real concerns emerged. What if I didn't have those two hours to give, she would remain anxious and that takes us to worlds we don't care to visit. I find the same is true with many issues, the child will get around to whatever is bothering her only after much time as been invested in gibberish. And the need for parental involvement escalates as well, not again that toddler years aren't filled with dangers, but coffee table collisions trade up to automobile ones. Good choices use to be all about food, and not writing on the walls, but now include sex, drugs, and abandoning parental values. Inserting yourself into the life of a busy teen when you only have an hour is almost impossible.

So I have the job of my choice but my primary employers will be leaving me in a few short years and I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up besides a grandmother. My BC life included full time work in the retail world, and that was never my dream. Regional offices were what I held and the time and travel commitments required I have no desire to resume. So I need to find something new, six years should give me enough time to discover my other passion.

If my current life would just slow down, it would make everything a whole lot simpler.

When Reading is Hard

I am gifted with two profoundly dyslexic children, and as a result am finding myself learning what books work for the reading challenged. So here are a few suggestions when you are faced with a child who is required to read something for school. These titles can also be strewn about the house to tempt the reluctant reader. I apologize for the girl bias but that is my reality.

Do not miss "The Cat on the Mat is Flat" and "The Big Fat Cow that Went Kapow" these look like regular young reader novels but are really Dr Seuss-esque rhymes with surprize endings, they even include some new vocabulary words, like shonky and wonky, By Andy Griffin of the "Butt Wars" fame

Babymouse by Jennifer Holm, a "graphic novel" series that is fun funny and lets kids read the bubbles. Babymouse is also a character who's imagination knows few bounds and is written by an award winning author.

Stink and Judy Moody are two series written by Megan McDonald, I don't like how the siblings treat each other but good lessons are usually learned in each story. A big plus for this one is the actual page layout, they got it right especially for the kids with the visual processing challenges, the font size is great, and they still have pictures. Stink is a little easier read than Judy so that would be the place to start.

Short books that are still thought provoking for the middle school student might be "Missing May" by Rylant, On My Honor" by Bauer, "Stone Fox" by Gardner, "Witness" by Hesse, "Love That Dog"and "Pleasing the Ghost" by Creech, "Skeleton Man" by Bruchac, "The Cay" by Taylor and "Skinny Bones" by Park. All of these offer things to talk about and could definitely be book report material.

Books in verse are another option for the reluctant reader, two of those above are also in this category. The poetry offers fewer words per page and insists on accurate word selection but all of these still tell a story that is easy to follow. "Out of Dust" by Hesse, I prefer "Witness" personally but it does fall into this verse category. "Dead on Town Line" by Conner, our mother/daughter group enjoyed this one but all felt it wasn't finished, a great start none the less. Ellen Hopkins has a series of books, these are teen/young adult novels that are filled with trauma, angst, suicide, drugs, and sex. Not for the faint of heart but they do pull you in and keep you reading. My favorite in this category is "Make Lemonade" by Wolfe, an amazing story that reads like elegant prose yet is all in verse. It is a trilogy so there is more if you like it.

Do I have to mention "Wimpy Kid?" The original was actually written for adults but no one would publish it for grown-ups, so they went with the kid option. The lexile is actually listed at 950 I believe for the first novel, which can be quite a stretch for the struggling reader, but if they ask to read it, hand it over. They will work though the hard bits just because they want to be like everyone else, and it is funny.

Action packed stories also pull these reluctant readers in and keep their interest high enough that plowing through the words is worth it. "Alex Rider" takes the cake in this category with a near death experience every 10 pages. Lots of explosions, death, mayhem, and violence put this in the teen category but my girls were just 9 when they started listening to these and they loved them, even my sensitive one was not bothered by all the blood and guts but seems to easily understand that it was all make believe. The current best selling "Percy Jackson" series by Riordan is another fast paced winner,

Books in journal, letter, diary or IM format also seem to appeal to those allergic to books. The Myracle series TTFN, TTYL, L8R G8R, and BFF is worth a look, I did get tired of all the whining and lack of action, they didn't do anything except chat and text, but it has some young girl teen appeal. For the much younger set the Dear America series is coming back, these are diaries or journals of historical characters that were very well done and I never understood why they quit publishing them. "Regarding the Sink" by Klise is a fun one and this author has several titles that fall into this category, her stories are told by not just letters but newspaper clippings, receipts, bills, post-its, and messages. Myers "Monster" is another with this visual appeal and don't miss "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian" by Alexi, it's a real gem. Older kids for both those last titles.

My brain is slowing so you will have to start with those and I will find others later.

Potty talk

I continue to be appalled at the crude behavior of people. This summer I attended a music event with my daughter, the venue was outside but bless the organizers there was no need to rely on the port-o-potties, but they actually have reasonably clean serviceable facilities. As the day progressed those nice bathrooms began to deteriorate. It was interesting that the stalls nearest the sinks and more heavily trafficed were the ones to survive the day. Those stalls around the wall away from too many eyes became hot beds of malicious activity. Throughout the day young women had managed to put out of commission at least 90% or the available toilets? WHY? I really don't get this one, eventually even the destroyer has to use this room, why is it funny to create unnecessary stentch and filth, plug drains and pipes, in a room that you will need. I truely was shocked at the destruction, it was going to take several hours of nauseating work to make all the facilitites serviceable.

This doesn't just happen at young peoples concerts, and youth have no monopoly on crude behavior in the bathroom. Visit any public toilet on a day when it has seen frequent activity and you will find a mess, unless there really is someone scheduled hourly to put on the gloves and take on the gruesome task of cleaning up after humanity. So can anyone explain to me why this happens? Is putting paper in a trash can, turning off water, peeing INTO the toilet instead of on it, flushing a comode all that difficult? By the looks of public washrooms these tasks must be insurmountable, we have failed out children once again in the transfer of the most basic of skills. Restroom attendants may be the only real solution, it's like having a mom in place to keep everyone on their best behavior, and I don't believe it would be much more expensive than the hours the clean up crew has to put in to repair damage.

Book Babble

Books again, maybe some sleepers, oft overlooked titles that are really good. A favorite for the younger kid needing a historical fiction title for school is Snow Treasure by McSwigan, based on an incident from WWII where a freighter showed up in New York harbor laden to the point of sinking, it's cargo gold. How the gold, belonging to Norway, is sneaked out of their country under the noses of Nazi's is the story premise, fun for boys and girls alike.

A Crooked Kind of Perfect, and Waiting for Normal are girl stories where day to day life for some preteen girls offers more than normal challenges and experiences that will make audiences grateful for uncomplicated lives. On My Honor an integrity story where lying has some awful consequences. Leap of Faith by Bradley, ' tis rare for religion to be treated so respectfully in a kid book, and this one goes way beyond respectful and gets it's Catholic facts right as well, great read on top of it all.

When the Whistle Blows by Slayton, I thought this one deserved a Newbery Honor at least last year. An amazing story told in vignettes that take place on All Hallow's Eve, through these snapshots of life you get to know a town, a man, a family, what life was like in simpler times, and that heros don't always look like heros. Harris and Me, everybody reads Hatchet but this one is Paulsen at his finest. Harris defines family and fun and is one of those few kid titles that make you laugh out loud often. Emma Jean Lazarus Fell Out of a Tree, a quirky kid, Emma Jean must be on that ASD list somewhere but even quirky kids deserve and need friends, Emma learns this in her own special way.

Rash, a great boy read and discussion starter, is a sci-fi story years in the future where the USA is now the USSA, United Safety State of America. Football is illegal so are large dogs and most anything deemed unsafe, walking helmets keep you from hurting yourself, in even the most mundane of activity. But if you have an anger management problem and a bit of a rebellious streak you aren't long for life out of prison and prison is as unregulated, as the outside is constrained. Read at your own risk.

For the wee ones Three Tales of my Father's Dragon by Gannett, get this and read it out loud while they are young as your children will never pick this up on their own, and while at the library do the same with Homer Price by McCloskey of duckling fame, another romp through a small town that leaves you wistful for days gone by.

Those should keep you busy for this month, enjoy. In the meantime I am going to find out how to post photos, all this black needs some color.

Homeschool Hell Week

We homeschool and the perks far outweigh the drawbacks but there are those weeks when I ask myself, what was I thinking. Three young women exploding with erratic and errant hormones is enough to bring the strongest working mom to her knees. For the SAHomeschoolingM there is no escape. Well, I guess that isn't quite true, because I do leave the house often now without anyone in tow. But this family life we have chosen builds pretty incredible relationships and puts you first in line for the best and the worst the kids have to offer.

As normal as my children appear and as stable as folks think our life must be, chaos lurks just below the surface. Twelve is a particularly challenging age, and when mild anxiety is thrown into the mix, volitility results. We hold her tight and help her breathe, but often the eruptions spiral upward so quickly that there isn't time to coach. It isn't unusual for this one to scream and declare she hates me, you would think after the numerous repetitions of this that I would become immune, but there is still a strong emotional gut reaction. Somehow it always feels personal, and as much as I know that she will tell me she didn't mean it when we can finally speak rationally, and that bad voice inside says, "You must not be a good mother."

Best Story of the Week

A friend of mine had one of those days...it began with the loss of a crown. She was able to get an appointment that morning and the dentist took all the necessary impressions for a proper replacement and glued a temporary crown in place, saying "That will hold you until the real one comes in." Well, as a snack that afternoon my friend decided on popcorn, maybe not the best choice for a temporary crown, but her choice. The inevitable happened on a crunchy kernal, the crown popped off. She carefully placed the crown on the table next to the bag of popcorn and set to planning another visit to the dentist. Daughter arrives and spots the bag of popcorn, instead of reaching in she first decides to pick up and consume all the stray bits on the table.

"This tastes awful" she says while spitting out the now mangled bit of metal.

At least her dentist will get a chuckle along with his extra work.

Well it has been longer than 3 days and she is still at it and even acing college quizzes. She has trouble when all is not perfect, refusing to accept that just because it isn't exactly the way it was planned it must not count. That perfectionism can be scary!

I didn't plan on perfectionism as a topic and cannot decide if continuing is the right decision at this time... must think.

In The Beginning...

The start of a new school year is always exciting for me. Over the summer, I'm so enthusiastic about making up new schedules and actually doing everything this year.

And then it starts great! And I'm rocking it! And my schedule is working! And I'm doing everything! And it's working!

For three days.

And then... I start deteriorating. I start getting frustrated because I don't understand the schoolwork I'm doing, and then I start procrastinating because I'm so frustrated and then I'm stressing out because I need to get all this done because I'm never getting into college and...

so, not much happens.

But this year is gonna be different (HA!). I'm taking a class at the local community college, I'm taking a few classes at other people's houses and I've only really got to do science and math by myself.

Looking realistically at my schedule as well, I think I'm going to have time to actually be working, at least a little bit during the week. I may not have as much free time as I'd like, but that gives me less time to freak out about everything, so we'll see.

I've got new books, new teachers, new attitude.

So how is this school year gonna work out?

I Fixed It

SO THERE, MA.

Environmental Waste

She didn't get rid of the video box yet, we don't even know where it came from because we don't use photobucket, so if anyone knows how to delete the darn thing please tell me as it is taking my daughter too long.

I feel a rant coming on, not about the daughter, she really is wonderful, but about negligent and irresponsible parents in bookstores. I know it isn't just bookstores but they offer the freshest stories. There has been an eight year old molested in the store, in the children's department. Predators know where to find them. This lovely young lady had only been left alone for about 10 minutes, and mom was just over looking at the sports books...it only takes a minute. Now we don't really publicize this event, we want people to feel safe, but I also want people to watch their kids. Remember this is a public place and anyone is welcome until they give us a reason to throw them out but that could be too late for your child. So if you wouldn't leave your kid alone at the Ohare Airport then don't leave them alone at the bookstore.

On any given weekend we have to dispose of hundreds of dollars of damaged merchandise, items that were mishandled, chewed on, colored in, opened, and used by children with and without parental supervision. All you green minded folks this is just unnecessary environmental waste, and directly increases consumer costs. I remember the days when children were expected to keep their hands in their pockets while shopping and merchandise that was broken was immediately purchased by the offending child's parent. I don't really expect children to keep their hands in their pockets but I do expect them to respect other people's property, and until a purchase transpires, that stuff in the store belongs to someone else. They need to be taught to touch and handle merchandise carefully, to return it to its proper place after looking it over, is that too much to ask?

I know it is, because the biggest offenders aren't really the children it's the adults.

Misquotes

Some of my favorite stories are those of title confusion. I don't correct adults when they mispronounce a book title or author but I have enough maturity to correct the youth who mangle the names of literature's finest and really don't embarrass them. It wasn't me but another women in the store who did one of the fastest accurate guesses I ever heard. A father comes up to the information counter and tells the clerk he needs "Cranberry Story" for his son for school. Our diligent clerk enters the supposed title into the computer and gibberish comes up, nothing that resembles school required reading. She stops for a minute, looking at the screen, and asks the gentleman, "Did you mean the Canterbury Tales?"

" Yeah!! that's it," he exclaims.

Just one more, this actually happened just yesterday. We live in a very culturally diverse area, which is a good thing but it can make communication a challenge at times. A middle aged gentleman with a very strong accent, which I could not accurately identify, approached the help desk. "I would like 'you're not unfrozen freedom', that is the title" I was sure my ancient ears were deceiving me so I asked him to repeat himself.

"You're not unfrozen, freedom, that is the author"

I tried the computer but knew GiGo was in effect, and worked for clarification. "You're, like You Are?"

"Here let me write it for you" he said, and I thanked God.

Jono_ton Frozen Freedom is what he wrote and pointed out that "Freedom" was the actual title. Had I been a regular reader of adult books I most likely would have gotten it at this point, but I read kid books, so I continued my search and discovered a new soon to be published "Freedom" by Jonathan Frazen, success.

What We Call You

If you are a regular shopper at certain stores, you have a name. Besides your regular one, this is one created by the employees of your preferred store. Every retail outlet has its regulars, and employee turnover in retail is notorious. So even regular customer's names get lost in the shuffle.

It begins when someone spots you and needs to tell another employee something they have observed about you. Gossip goes on every where, a sales floor is no exception, we are often petty, sarcastic, politically incorrect, and in need of diversion from the mundane. Conversations and the names that emerge aren't meant to be cruel just accurate. One I remember went something like this:

"Did you see those three girls again, you know the ones with the dark hair."

"Which ones?"

"You know the ones who weekend here because of the free childcare."

"I don't think I know who you are talking about..."

"You know the young ones, they take all the teen magazines and spend hours pouring over them back in Kids"

"I don't think I've ever seen them."

"I know you've seen them, two are extremely pretty and they all dress like hookers."

"Oh, I know who you mean!"

Thus was born "The Three Little Hookers" they came to the store for over 5 years and were often identified by their collective name.

We try to learn and remember names as we chat with regular customers, but are at a distinct disadvantage. We wear name tags and folks can quickly check those and remember who WE are but I have yet to have a customer come in properly labeled. And after you have chatted with someone for months you reach a point where it seems too late for introductions. Even when a customer orders something and you actually get to type their name into a computer, you forget, because you have done this same data entry for 40 other folks that same day and all the names begin to blend.

So we have Crazy Asian Lady, The Math Guy, The Cafe Doctors, Mr. Beatles, Smoke, The Woman with Two First Names, and The Guy Who Does Laps just to name a few. Even the security guys get dubbed something as they are undercover which make introductions to employees on the sales floor hard to accomplish . We had Lurch, Muscle Man, and Mr. Useless, until we finally exchanged names. So this is just fair warning watch what you do at your regular haunts, and remember you are creating a name for yourself.

In the Meantime, Books

Somehow I have to get rid of the missing image box but I don't know where it came from or how to obliterate the darn thing. Must ask the daughter.

So since we can't argue I will muse a bit on books, what I do in my spare time is sell books at the local gynormous book retailer. This happened when a need for some extra cash, a discount on books and respite from homeschooling children all merged. After having twins my passion for reading was being trampled, I didn't have time to finish a book, when a moment to spare with a good book appeared I really just wanted to sleep instead, and often did. So reaching the end of an adult novel didn't happen. But Harry Potter was hot, my oldest had moved into chapter books, and I started reading juvenile literature she brought home from the library, halleluia! I was saved. I could finish a kid's book in an evening or two and along the way discovered I prefer kid's books. At the bookstore I was gladly sent to the children's department and my addiction was fueled to a frenzy. I force myself to read one adult title a month, this is for my grown-up book group, but do it only to assuage my guilt, and find that I infrequently enjoy the titles.

I do lead two mother daughter book groups and have for the past 8 years, we (well mostly daughter #1) are putting together a website to provide help for others who wish to start mother/daughter book groups. It is a tedious process with 12 years worth of material to organize and make pretty and functional. Hopefully we will be up and running some time during the next school year. We usually begin a new book club year with a school story and our younger group will be doing just that with The View From Saturday by Konigsburg. Big girls are already leaving me behind, they are all High School age and we actually read a lot of adult books, if I wasn't the leader, I might quit. Our September selection for group one is Snowflower and the Secret Fan. An adult novel I did enjoy.

If you are interested in amazing school stories for yourself or your children, check out The Wednesday Wars by Schmidt. This book truly has everything. Historical fiction, Vietnam war in the background, family challenges, baseball, track, Shakespeare, camping, a little romance, bigotry, corruption, commentary on standardized testing, bus accidents, two large rats that wreak havoc at various turns, heros in abundance, and Mrs Baker-one amazing teacher. The first time I read this book I was about a third of the way through and this incredible incidence takes place I laughed out loud, cried tears of joy, and looked at the book in my hand, it could have ended for me right there and I would have cheered, but 150 pages remained. I couldn't imagine it getting any better, but you know what it did. This one is a crowd pleaser.

For younger kids get your girls to read The Year of Miss Agnes by Hill, an often overlooked gem, and for boys check out Frindle by Clements really anything by Andrew Clements will do, he has the 7-13 yo range covered and writes mostly school stories. His characters are well developed and his adults are functional, believable, and really care about kids. Very different from the inane, absent, caricatures of adults that appear in some popular children's books. A couple of other not to be missed school stories include Sahara Special by Codell, Ida B by Hannigan, Jennifer Hecate MacBeth William McKinley and Me Elizabeth by Konigsburg, and even though it's out of print check out the library for The Chicken Doesn't Skate by Korman a good boy book that should cause a chuckle or two. The younger set should take a peek at Shredderman by VanDrannen and older kids Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by Lubar. There are lots more but that would be a good start for the school year.

Just be kind.

Okay back to the original path. Reminiscing on 30 years of marriage and what if anything we have learned in three decades. My mother was right. Over and over I come to this conclusion so if you have a wise mother listen carefully you will save yourself much trouble over the years.

I called her on Mother's day in 1978 to announce my engagement, we were not getting married for a few years and I didn't have a ring yet but I also couldn't suppress the urge to tell any longer. She had met my future husband only once, we met them in Rockford to pick up an automobile from my folks, one car down, two cars back. So we had dinner and headed back to Minnesota, an hour or so total time spent together. Our Mother's day conversation went something like this:

"Hi, Happy Mother's Day... Guess what?"

"You're getting married"

"What!!?? How...?

"Steve, right?"

"How did you know?"

"He's the only guy I ever saw you take shit from"

She did say shit too, even back then and she wasn't one to swear. Fast forward two years and a few months and we are in the back of the chapel, I am flanked by both my parents Steve precedes me with both his folks. My mother in all seriousness turns to me and says "just be kind." At the time I thought, "What? What kind of words of wisdom to create a lasting memory is that! Pretty lame in my opinion" Well she was right. She knew her sharp tongued, arrogant daughter pretty well and it turned out to be a challenge to follow, yet very effective.

In the heat of an argument, when confronted with dirty socks on the floor again, when the children are given the wrong dinner, if you just stop and think, "be kind" before you say anything you can change the outcome of said confrontation. Now really just thinking "be kind" isn't all you have to do the second and more important step is to apply that advice to anything that comes out of your mouth and any action you take. That is when this advice becomes a little more challenging and much more complicated than the simple statement implies. In other words for a snarky smart mouth young woman this was not easy, but something she needed.

She put those words in my brain on that day and I found that through the years they have surfaced often. Frequently when I least wanted to hear them but most needed to heed their advice. That "lame" comment has turned into a mantra for my daughters as they struggle with growing up. "Just be kind," I remind them, often on a daily basis. It still resonates for me as daily I try to be a better mother and spouse. I don't know that it will ever become easy for me but I also know I will keep trying to "just be kind."

Wedding thoughts

This is girl drama and marital advice combined. In a little over a month we will be celebrating a 30th anniversary and that seems something that deserves some reflection. I do remember parts of the day, but over all most of it is a blur, those of you considering marriage and weddings need to find a way to record everything, photos, videos, family thoughts, etc. As one of the main participants you will find that so much is happening there will not be time to observe everything much less process the information, and without digital help it will be lost.

I took out the dress to look at it and don't even think it will fit my daughter, I do remember thinking at that time in my life I needed to lose weight. I was most likely wrong. Needless to say any thoughts of squeezing my middle age body in to the frothy yards of chiffon were put to rest. But I did learn something new, don't always trust that dry cleaner. The box was supposed to be sealed and preserve the dress but somehow there is age staining so it must be redone plus the gauntlets that matched the dress are missing. The search will begin to find someone who will do it right. So if you are packing a dress away, get a second opinion.

When doing major events, plan on at least three big things going wrong. This takes the pressure off, when you expect the "Oh No!" then you aren't blindsided by it. The cake doesn't show up, or there is a bat swooping over the congregation, actually dive bombing at points, no problem, you knew something like this would happen. The bat actually made our wedding one of the more memorable in our large extended family, just ask anyone one over the age of 30 if they remember our wedding and the ready response is "OH, yeah the one with the bat." Some folks mistakenly imagined we had released a dove in the chapel as the bat appeared just as the first strains of "On Eagles Wings" filled the air. As our soloists continued the hymn the critter managed to spook the entire audience, fly within an inch of my sister's nose and make a beeline for my father's face. Lots of silent shoulder shaking laughter around the altar.

I even met the critter up close and personal 3 weeks prior to the wedding. I was scouting photo locations for the day and checking a very old building for cute nooks and crannies that said perfect photo backdrop. I followed a winding staircase that lead to a dead end, no door out just a lower level space about 6 ft square and spotted something brown and fuzzy on the floor. I thought at first it was a toy mouse, but upon closer inspection, it lost its mouse appearance and even though I was within and inch or so as I sniffed nothing moved, nor did it smell. It looked rubber, like a toy that had soft rabbit fur glued onto it a bit haphazardly. This being a college campus chapel, I assumed it was a joke. So I muttered "Some damn freshman." and kicked the little rubber toy. Rubber wings immediately grew out of the little body and an impossible screechy hiss filled the air, he didn't like getting kicked. I hightailed it out of there and ran to a prearranged meeting with our priest. "Bernie" I said, " Are you going to get the bats out of the chapel?" He assured me that my meeting with the flying rodent was a fluke, and he had been at the school for years and had never seen a bat. "There are no bats in the chapel," He assured me on my departure. Famous last words.

Well, this isn't what it started to be...seems to be a hazard of blogging, I start some where with all these good intentions and end up somewhere else. I will have to go back to my real path on a later date.

It's not that I don't have anything to say...

it's just that I'm always not sure how to say it.

There are many rants that well up in my mind, or issues that come up that I have an opinion on, but I can't figure out how to express my opinions on them without seeming catty or bossy or just downright annoying.

I hate when people do the whole I-am-better-than-you-because-I-think-this-and-you-don't thing because I believe there's different opinions for everything (though the other person's opinion is generally wrong... ;)) and all opinions should be heard out and discussed.

Enough for being not sure about what to say.

I'll give you an update on life.

Our family went to Washington, DC this past week and it was fun, although very, very, very hot. It was 90+ degrees every day there. A girl passed out at Arlington cemetery cause it was so freaking hot out. But we managed to stay cool and not die. :)

We toured the Capitol, went to many, many museums, saw all the memorials and monuments, went to the zoo, walked around a LOT, went to Quanitco (insert Criminal Minds fangirl squee here) and saw the changing of the guard plus a wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington cemetery.

It was a lot of fun, and there's still too much more to see in DC! I'll have to go back sometime again. :)

Girl Drama

OK, we are waiting again, so I will babble. Girl Drama, is this really necessary? They are such sweeties when babes, and something saturates theirs souls as puberty begins and monsters emerge. They are so beautiful to look at it takes you by surprise, budding young women whose heads can spin around. I have 5 sisters and I remember little drama while I was home, rumor has it the two youngest did battle for a while, but I had moved out by then.

Maybe my memory is flawed, wouldn't be the first time, but I don't recall PMS being allowed or tolerated, you were supposed to be at least civil to one another all the time. I am trying to recall what my mother did. She kicked us out of the house a lot, that would take care of some of the battles. We had to work at home or elsewhere, once again this gets us out of each others hair, or too tired to fight. I remember pouting and silent treatment, but usually you just found something to do, or a good book to read. Maybe the 3 year gap between me and the next girl had something to do with it, my usual family companion was my older brother. After the gap there are 5 girls crammed into 6 years. Heading to college at 18 I left the quintet, ages 9-15 home alone, with one younger brother, maybe he is a better person to ask about the presence of girl drama in that generation.

But I still need a fix, something to bring down the curtain on said behavior in this current crop of females. Withdrawal of all privileges doesn't do it, at times it seems to increase the drama. Maybe the work option is the way to go, then instead of sniping at one another I become the primary target, this would give them an enemy to unite against. We might get a little peace and I might get a clean house.

A Test?

"Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character hope, and hope does not disappoint" Romans 5:3-5

Sitting in church and this little gem was read, so affliction builds character which is suppose to bring hope, is this required or just one of the means to the end. And does it mean real affliction or does it also include minor annoying problems. Maybe that is the problem with hope and youth, they don't really need God, we have kept them safe, secure, fed, clothed, loved and they want for nothing, including God.

I do know that crisis' can be a faith building experience, they certainly get you back on the praying wagon. But is deep, unshakable faith, the kind that provides assurance, possible without struggle? I think of youth experiences and how most use familial love to build the emotional connections and steer teens to Christ, these last only a short while and without further nurturing lose their impact, it gets them started but something more is needed to sustain the faith. Must they face the devil, via affliction , loss, or some other devastation? We have tools, we have Eucharist, we have scripture, we have tradition, to nourish and build upon the early love fest, but can each of us also expect a "test."

Seems a bit frightening, the images are there, the potter molding, the smith purifying the gold, the narrow gate.

I know it is frighting, my sister just told me she has cancer...I don't like tests!

Hope? (My Plan to Possibly Change the World)

I'm not convinced that there actually is a complete lack of hope in today's adolescents. I think that the domino effect of depression works against us. Maybe I'm not the best person to ask - I'm probably the least hopeful person you'll ever meet. Perfectionism does that to you.

However, I don't believe that the world will necessarily be worse in 100 years (though, if the apocalypse comes... hardeeharhar). I don't always think that I will lead the world to a better place, but I believe I have the power to. Saying there's no hope in the world means that you believe there's no hope for yourself... which I can definitely relate to, but don't agree with in a hardcore sense.

The future belongs to us, but not everyone agrees on what a good future is. What defines a "better" future? At this point, I'm not sure what would make a better future... but there are some things that would help for sure.

Peace would always be good, yeah, and maybe we have the power to do that. Maybe being a little bit nicer to people, connecting a little more, making that little bit of effort. A friend once mentioned to me that a smile can change the world... maybe smiling more would help us out. Maybe smiling more would give us a little more hope.

Or maybe less judgement? Less hate might give us some more hope. Respecting people could give not only the judged people, but I think the judging people as well, a little more hope.

I'd definitely like some more world awareness - Invisible Children is helping with that, at least for one aspect (great organization, BTW... if you can, donate! They're wonderful. Check 'em out). But poverty, hunger, and so many other illnesses affect people around the globe. In a better world, we'd need to fix that, and I think most people would agree.

I don't quite know what other things I'd do to make the world better. I do believe we can have a better world in 100 years, I'm just not certain we're all quite sure how.

Hope

OK how about this...What in the world has happened in this country to cause the total lack of hope I see in youth today. I remember feeling and I know I was not alone, that I could do anything, and it was my responsibility to save the world. The whole "Ask not what your country can do for you..." permeated our consciouses we had a duty to make life for others better, to battle injustice where ever we found it, and we did because we believed we could make a difference. We protested, organized and marched, I even joined the Socialist Worker Party as a college freshman, and just knew we could change the world to a peaceful utopia.

Service was a part of your life, not something you got credit for in school. You helped neighbors, worked for you school, even created fundraising events when we felt the call. This is not to pretend that we were not real narcissistic teenagers, we were often as self centered and oblivious as today's youth, but in that narcissism we had the audacity to believe we could make a difference. If asked "In 100 years will the world be better or worse?" we would have overwhelmingly responded "Better" and gone on to explain that it would be so because we were going to make it better.

I did ask my class this year why there was no hope, and one young man said there was just too much information and it consistently left them feeling small and inadequate. I still approach situations with a "What can I do to fix this" attitude while my daughters regularly focus on "Why this can never work." What has changed to make our youth feel so helpless, have we mollycoddled them, failed to inspire them, handicapped them with overprotection? Maybe all of the above? If life is leaving our youth feeling incapable what must we do to build in them a hope that will sustain. A hope that will carry them to heights we can only imagine, and through those times in life when hope is all that is left.

Daughter, thoughts?

"I see the signs now all the time."

It's Friday! Time for... PHOTOS! YEAH! (Lyric from "Signs" by Bloc Party)

So this week's challenge was signs. I was picturing lots of creativity in my photos - having my sisters do some sign language, find some billboards, etc.

It didn't happen - whether that is my fault for being too lazy or...

yeah, it's me being too lazy.

The good thing about living in a metropolitan area is that there is an abundance of street signs, and they were none too hard to find...

For more Foto Friday, visit Rebecca.

untitled

Well, this is easier than I thought it was going to be. I imagined frantically searching for time to write yet another post, but it appears things will be more relaxed than that. We have discovered a problem. My daughter was supposed to present me with topics which we in turn would expound upon and hopefully offer differing points of view. We cannot find anything to discuss which raises enough conflict to make things interesting. One of the perks of homeschooling is you have oodles of time to throughly brainwash your children.

There are topics which we agree upon but discussion would prove disastrous for our social well being, we have for years lived in a blue state while remaining in a red cloud. It was one of the many reasons that relocation was so inviting, to be among "friends" and to be able to come out of hiding would have been a real plus. BUT I cannot dwell on the the impossible it just depresses me, we will continue to search for relevant topics and try to keep this interesting.

Tattoos?

Twitter? (Oh wait, I can't use that word.)

Math?

None sound very interesting.

"The sea is wine red, this is the death of beauty."

Let's see how long I can match up lyrics with Foto Friday challenges! (The title lyric is from The Hush Sound's "Wine Red").

I know it's a little late, but hey, it's only 10:50 central time, so it still counts as Friday.

I took a ton of (better-than-last-week) red photos this week, and I'm very pleased with the way a lot of them turned out.

I don't know why I didn't think of street signs last week - there are a lot of yellow ones. But ah well, this week I used that discovery to my advantage. I went on a walk and snapped photos of anything red I spotted. :)

For more Foto Friday, visit Rebecca.

Dark Thoughts

A major disaster, and we are trying to recover. Well, I am trying to recover the rest of the family seems to have moved past the change already. It seems silly that a move or now the lack of move could cause this much trouble. I imagine this is what happens when someone very close dies, you move through your day and when you least expect it some sound, a gesture, a picture comes to mind and a wave of grief washes over you, all control gone you just sob. This is not polite crying but shoulder shaking, breath catching, grief that pours out of you and makes you wonder if you can ever stop. I cannot recall ever feeling this forlorn. I have tried, and low points are out there but I do believe we have set a new personal record. I think a part of me has died.

Amputation at this point seems a bit brutal, and as life continues around me I expect things to improve, but the dead weight in the mean time is oppressive. My children feel it, one just hugs me and assures me "It will be OK, I promise" just as I had whispered to her a few short weeks ago when relocation looked certain. Another has become an explosive device, with a hair trigger and situations that will trip said trigger abound. She seems caught between relief and lost puppy dreams, and the internal conflict is beyond her coping skills. What's a mother to do.

You put on a smile and keep working, stuffing feelings as needed to get through the day, tripping over grief waves and praying you don't get pulled under. It does make me worry, what if something truly awful happened, have I any coping skills? Someone on the radio was on their 10th cancer diagnosis, I chatted with a women whose son is bi-polar, autistic, ADHD, and 13. I know I have no real reason to complain, but I just wanted more and it was so close I could taste the sweetness. It is so dark right now it could be frightening, but I do believe light is there some where, just can't see it right now. So I wait for a door or a window, some patience, and maybe a glimmer of hope.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you."

I've been following the Friday Foto Challenges at Rebecca's for a few weeks now, and I wanted to participate in last week's blue theme, but didn't have my memory card reader so I couldn't upload the photos I took.

But now I'm participating in this week's yellow challenge, which, I have to admit, I'm not too crazy about. I love photography, but there simply isn't a lot of intriguing yellow objects to take pictures of around my house.

This week, you witness my obsession with macro photographs. Maybe next week I'll take some regular shots. ;^)

The yellow suns on my guitar strap immediately caught my eye after I saw that the challenge for this week was yellow.

My sister was pouring honey on her cornbread, and the yellow-ness of it all was too perfect.

The bear confetti (from a Fall Out Boy concert last spring - YEAH!) is actually a very pale neon green - but I decided it looks yellow enough. And the Clandestine Industries receipt is definitely yellow.

P.S., the title is from the song "Yellow" by Coldplay.

I couldn't resist.

Cover Art

We've all heard the saying "don't judge a book by its cover"... and lately, I've been realizing how hard that is to actually do.

I've been noticing how much I tend to judge books, music, along with various people, by their "covers". For instance, whenever I receive my monthly issue of Alternative Press, I go through the magazine and write down all the names of the bands and musicians I'm unfamiliar with to check out later (did your nerd-dar just go off?) - and I've been researching March's music this week. Within my avid iTunes browsing, I've been automatically pegging bands by their cover art. I find myself cringing looking up Sayyadina, fairly assured they're going to be metal-screamo-rip-your-eardrums-out, relaxing as Grizzly Bear pops up on the screen, prepared for some true indie-rock chill out time, and trying to decide how long I'm going to be able to stomach the uber-cute-ness of NeverShoutNever - all before I even click the "play" button. There are countless other instances, and it's not often that I'm that far off the mark (and I'm sure it's not just me. After you look up enough albums, you'd get pretty good at it too). There isn't a band that comes to mind that has truly opposite music than their cover art predicts - and why is that?

Maybe it's the same reason we dress up for church, for job interviews, for parties. Why would we do that if people didn't judge us on our external appearances? We rarely just roll out of bed, hair sticking up every which-way with that chocolate ice cream stain from last night's dessert rubbed into our 3-year-old summer camp shirt and walk outside into the world. If people truly didn't "judge books by their covers" then it wouldn't matter.

Is it a good thing to want to look respectable when we go out? I know there are some days when you just don't care - we've all seen what that's like, whether it be experiencing "one of those days" ourselves or just witnessing another person having one. But taking the time to get ourselves ready and presentable is sort of a sacred time in our busy lives. I know, personally, it makes me feel better to wash my face, brush my hair and get dressed than just lounging around in my pajamas all day (I will admit, I've stayed in my pajamas for 36+ hours before - and it wasn't when I was sick). It's a refreshing time in the morning to wake up and consider what the day ahead will be like. Wearing an outfit you love can make you feel better about yourself, and we all know confident people are the most welcoming.

There are certain situations when dressing in clothes that not only look nice, but make you feel good, is key. Take a job interview for example - if you want the job, you don't just skulk in, clothes rumpled, hair tangled, smacking gum on a really craptastic day. You're obviously going to be oozing "get away from me - I feel awful". You stand up straight, dress nicely and do the best you can to show your possible employer how you will present yourself - even if it is a craptastic day. One of my mom's favorite sayings is "fake it 'till you make it". Dressing well can make you feel good about yourself - and hey, if you get the job, that's just an added bonus.

Indelible Marks

Easter leaves it mark, I rubbed my hand raw and still there are remnants of color under my nails and soaked into my cuticles. I guess it could be worse. I remember another church service with stained fingers. I had raced to Mass right from the police station, up since 5am, and needed to make the last service of the day. This was before electronic or digital capturing of fingerprints. When you were fingerprinted they rolled each fingertip across a purply black stamp pad and then rolled the print on to a white card marked off with small boxes. That ink took forever to wear off. Timing again was off, when I was a kid you didn't use your hands for communion, had this been true my ink stained digits would have remained my secret, but this was post Vatican II and we receive with our hands. I didn't really think about it till I placed my hands up to receive the host at least 8 suspicious looking tips are visible. Father, bless his heart, never said a word, only the merest flicker of a raised eyebrow, at why his some what disheveled junior high catechist looked like she had been recently fingerprinted. I never did explain, just let them wonder.

But this year it is only egg dye that marks me and many mothers at church on Easter morning. My mother got to wear gloves for a lot of those early years, nobody could tell who the egg dyers were back then. But our life activities are now out there for all to see. When you have children there really are no secrets in your house, and technology pushes that to a whole new level, they share with the world now instead of their third grade teacher. And what do we bring to the world this Easter? Not enough I am afraid. Our Easter prep and lenten promises were all cluttered up with thoughts of moving and somewhat less than sacred. I even skipped "Re-lent" our churches weekly prayer meetings organized for the season, feeling there wasn't enough time this year.

Fortunately for me even our messy half-done attempts somehow become not only acceptable but glorious at that vigil, and we regardless of preparation are given 50 days to celebrate. Aching hearts are soothed, anxiety ridden minds are calmed, and life moves in a better direction, seldom the one I planned but something better. So we celebrate, life and learning and each other, grateful for our abundance. And though preparation was haphazard we now have more than enough to share, and move forward to bring our gifts to the world, allowing Him to use our rainbow stained hands. Happy Easter!

Welcome to OZ

Yesterday I could have just said "April Fools" and that would have been the end, and disappointed my daughter. How did this happen, I swore I would never blog, and I even know better than to say never.

Once you have children not only does life as you know it change but periodically forces take over and things spin out of control, you end up in this whirlwind and come out the other side wondering like Dorothy what happened to Kansas. It is seldom a simple yes that gets you to OZ, but a series of innocent often unrelated events and bam it happens again.

Like take the simple search for the perfect kindergarten for your precocious 5 year old, it begins simply enough with school visits. Lots of them and each a little less promising than the last. I was suppose to be the perfect parochial school room mother, visiting my daughter's classroom observing the class dynamic and assisting the teacher as she directs. All the parochial schools in our neighborhood are unacceptable for a variety of reasons, what is a mother to do? Public school, we are in a great district, should we seriously consider this? This would mean room mother at a whole new level, to monitor what takes place in the classroom, a daunting commitment when you have infant twins. Samantha meanwhile under goes some pretty comprehensive testing at a local university, not for information but to help out some folks in their research. They needed normal children to test and my daughter was one of those guinea pigs. Test results reveal 2nd grade reading skills, 1st grade spelling skills and kindergarten math skills. I am thinking about skipping kindergarten, the entire decision will be postponed for an entire year, the child somehow managed to learn something in her 5 year existence including most of the kindergarten curriculum without the assistance of any school system. My decision to skip preschool was met with many raised eyebrows, what will they think now?

To avoid confrontations I begin to use the word homeschool, some are frightened, some are impressed, some are confused, but most believe a decision has been made and respect that. I figured she had already completed kindergarten, and told folks we were taking it one year at a time, so I really couldn't screw things up too much. Welcome to OZ. That was 11 years ago.

Eleven years, two special needs students, and relearning all the math I was sure I wouldn't need again. None of this was in my plan.

So begins the search for a new plan, and on occasion rash words come spewing out of my mouth because this plan isn't something I have done before. I have no frame of reference for creating school at home, and as a homeschooling parent you panic and will try anything to put the guilt to rest.

"You may get your ears pierced when you finish your math book."

" Starting a Mother/Daughter book group could be fun"

"We could have a Father/Daughter dance."

"No you cannot have a blog it will interfere with school time."

That last one was a good one, then twitter was added to the request. I continued to refuse, but a blog had become the lesser of two evils. One teary evening I caved, "You can only have a blog if I am on it too, and only if you finish that biology book." Bam!

Twitter has been removed from my vocabulary.

Greetings.

Why, hello, blogging world.

My mom and I have created this blog together, mostly because I've been begging her to start one for a while now. We're not exactly sure how it's going to work, but my idea is that twice a month, we'll pick a topic and both blog about it - see how we contrast on different ideas, etc - but we'll also each post on our own, about life, happiness, chocolate, and other good things like that.

So, a bit of an introduction.

I'm Samantha. I love many things, but at the moment, am truly passionate about writing, psychology, photography and music. I am constantly in search of new, good music, and will try almost anything out except rap and heavy-metal-screamo, so suggestions are always welcome. I'm learning guitar - slowly, verrrrrry slowly, love to write lyrics, and hope to someday, somehow, be involved in the music industry - wether it be through a band or in the studio or as a reporter. I adore writing in general - poetry, novels, short stories, essays, lyrics, I write them all, as well as reading (I love finding new books - suggestions welcome, again). I'm a triathlete-in-training, and will be participating in my first (sprint) triathlon in August. I'm a homeschooled Catholic (oh, yes, let all the stereotypes rain down!), and love it.

I think that's about it.

Maybe I can get my mother to post an intro about herself sometime soon... we'll see how it goes.