So, I know we haven't been regularly posting - yes, it was my idea to start a blog and I've been horrible about it.
Ah, well.
So, I've been wanting to do the 365 challenge for a while. If you don't know what that is, it's simply taking a photograph every day and posting it somewhere. I need to start taking more photos and even just bought a macro/fisheye lens to inspire myself to do so.
Since I'm pretty bad at keeping up with challenges, I'm not going to be starting right away, but my mom suggested I practice. So, I'm going to start practicing - taking pictures and posting them here. Hopefully, it'll work out. I want to officially start when I leave for college, since it'll be a "new chapter," you know, and when/if I do so, I'll start my own "photo" blog, since I'll actually be taking pictures.
Ha! We'll see what happens.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
On how money, college, and waiting sucks.
"Sure, we can sit around and fantasize all we want about how things are going to be different one day, but this is today and it sucks."
I just came across this on a friend's Tumblr. It's a quote from the movie Easy A (which I still have not seen, despite regular self-notes to do so), and it struck me how relevant it is to me right now.
I'm stuck in limbo. If you know me, you know I'm not an optimist in any sense of the word. I look on the dark side of life, and sometimes it's helpful, but most of the times it's not.
And right now, I'm waiting. And it sucks. Most everyone I know has heard the story, so I won't repeat it here - but in a few words, I didn't get the huge scholarship I need to go to my dream school and now I don't know what's going to happen.
I want to be hopeful. I really do. I want things to work out more than anything in the world.
But the problem is, I don't know what to be hopeful for. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to even go to any of my schools because of money. The problem, at this point, isn't that I won't be able to go to Elon. I'm working on trying to convince myself that isn't going to happen, because, realistically speaking, it's probably not. But what if I don't get enough money to go to my "second" choice? My third? My sixth?
It's really painful when people say things like, "oh, you'll end up where you're supposed to be."
What does that even mean?
I'm "supposed" to be at Elon, is the only thing that runs through my mind. "Everything works out. Everything happens for a reason."
But what if it's a bad reason?
It makes me so jealous when I see people saying, "so, I've decided to go to this school." Well, whoop-de-doo, congratulations that you have a choice. I get to go where I get the most money, whether I like that school or not.
And that just sucks.
Because as much as I want other things to happen, or even as hard as I work, my future is in the hands of someone else right now, and I can't do anything about it.
I just came across this on a friend's Tumblr. It's a quote from the movie Easy A (which I still have not seen, despite regular self-notes to do so), and it struck me how relevant it is to me right now.
I'm stuck in limbo. If you know me, you know I'm not an optimist in any sense of the word. I look on the dark side of life, and sometimes it's helpful, but most of the times it's not.
And right now, I'm waiting. And it sucks. Most everyone I know has heard the story, so I won't repeat it here - but in a few words, I didn't get the huge scholarship I need to go to my dream school and now I don't know what's going to happen.
I want to be hopeful. I really do. I want things to work out more than anything in the world.
But the problem is, I don't know what to be hopeful for. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to even go to any of my schools because of money. The problem, at this point, isn't that I won't be able to go to Elon. I'm working on trying to convince myself that isn't going to happen, because, realistically speaking, it's probably not. But what if I don't get enough money to go to my "second" choice? My third? My sixth?
It's really painful when people say things like, "oh, you'll end up where you're supposed to be."
What does that even mean?
I'm "supposed" to be at Elon, is the only thing that runs through my mind. "Everything works out. Everything happens for a reason."
But what if it's a bad reason?
It makes me so jealous when I see people saying, "so, I've decided to go to this school." Well, whoop-de-doo, congratulations that you have a choice. I get to go where I get the most money, whether I like that school or not.
And that just sucks.
Because as much as I want other things to happen, or even as hard as I work, my future is in the hands of someone else right now, and I can't do anything about it.
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