It's Christmastime! (Also known as, I am actually going to try and start writing about life.)

Man, you can definitely tell my mother works in a bookstore.

Anyway. Hello, followers of three. I think I'm going to have to start promoting this place on Facebook. I feel like nobody reads this. HEY, I HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE TOO!

So. As you can tell by the title, I'm actually going to start writing sometimes. When I remember. Shocking, right? I'll start updating so mom doesn't feel so alone by herself, writing about all of her newest book finds.

This post is boring already. Crap.

Okay. So, life as we know it... hectic, as lives tend to be. We're in the middle of one tech week - for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a week of intense rehearsals (for us, lasting only for 3-6 hours per day) during the week preceding the opening of a show - for my show, "An Ideal Husband" by Oscar Wilde. Plus, I've got my first college final next week (AAAAH!) and I hafta make christmas presents for everyone.

There's a lot going on.

Plus, we're in the middle of Advent... which is always bittersweet. It's full of joy (the one time when I'm not so uptight about spending money...) but it's also pretty stressful. I love making presents for my friends cause it feels way more personal. I don't mind buying presents for friends, but I love making presents because I love putting lots of time and effort into people's gifts.

I love the way the bottom of the tree mushrooms with presents right before Christmastime. I love hanging up ornaments and I love putting up twinkle lights around my room. I love hot chocolate and the warmth of watching classic movies like "White Christmas" and different types of Christmas music playing everywhere you go.

Oh, there's something to talk about. Christmas music. I love it, a lot. But only around Christmas time. I hate when people sing Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Like, come on, guys, there's plenty of other music out there and Christmas music is kinda specific to one month. And there's a lot of boring Christmas music out there too. I don't mind all the classics, like Bing Crosby and all that, but I love alt/rock music and I want to listen to some fun artists singing the classic songs interspersed with the originals, you know? There's just too much of the same a lot of the time.

So, I went on a rock Christmas song rampage a few days ago! And it's pretty amazing what I found... I didn't think that I would be able to find that much. And boy, did I find some cool things! A lot of bands have singles, but there's still quite a few good full albums from nice artists. iTunes had its Single of the Week last week as "Wish List" by Neon Trees (one of my favorite bands) and I practically died. It started the aforementioned rampage.

I had already had holiday singles by Fall Out Boy, The Ready Set, Something Corporate and Never Shout Never on my iPod unknowingly but I also discovered cool Christmas music by Weezer, Relient K and a super cool compilation album called "Winter Songs". And I've also been working on getting "Noel" by Josh Groban and Michael Buble's Christmas EP. YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH.

Christmastime is also just a fun time for family. It's always so warm and cuddly and I just love it. It's probably my favorite season of the year.

So, to end this all, I'll be writing more often and trying to make my posts more interesting. Adieu.

Breathe

I have taken off 3 days now from the manic activity of costuming and am beginning to feel guilty and know I will pay for the respite. But at the same time think the time to breathe is necessary. It gives me time to reflect, plan, panic, and hopefully reorganize to maximize the next couple of weeks.

If it were just the shows I know it would be more manageable but with attempting to homeschool amid the chaos, planning a dance event shortly after Christmas, and taking on the "Cookie Mom" position for two troops, it all seems a bit overwhelming and I have to take the time to remember to breathe.

Bridge

I never read as many books as I would like, last year I was gifted with a contact who was actually on the Newbery committee, she threw books at me all year and I felt much a part of the process and in touch with last year's book selections. But this year I am once again on my own and wander through the shelves noting favorite authors and hoping to find new loves. One I tripped over this year was Louis Sachar's most recent YA novel called "The Cardturner." My mother who seldom reads kid books asked me to get her a copy so of course I read it.

This is as story about a young man who for lack of anything better to do, no girl friend, no job, a summer stretching in front of him, turns cards for his blind great-uncle at the local bridge club. Turning cards, turns Alton's life in many directions but never loose. Trapp as his uncle is best known, is something of a crumudgeon, but you'll admit, rightly so, as you learn his history. Trapp's passion for bridge is contagious Alton is soon caught up in his web along with his sister, and an attractive young girl named Toni. Ultimately Toni and Alton help Trapp achieve an ancient desire for a national Bridge championship. You'll have to read it yourself for the details. But beware!

I hate bridge, I was raised by bridge players, there were regular bridge parties when I was growing up. We loved the morning after bridge night, the house reeked of cigarette smoke. Leftover bridge mix, chex mix and some sweet treat became breakfast for the first ones up. But we all learned to play bridge at about the age of 10, or started to. You sat at the table and they talked you through bidding, counting your points, and were forever saying things like "Well you Know he has the queen of hearts..." I never thought this was fun, it always required copious amount of mental concentration. You had to remember what was played, who played it, what was trump, and why you were sitting there at all. I never understood how you could ever carry on even a simple conversation while playing, and I really preferred talking. So after a couple of years I never volunteered to be the fourth, I usually found a hiding spot till the table was full. I knew I hated bridge, I could barely tolerate Hearts or Spades, which required much less effort than bridge. But after reading this book, I just knew I wanted to learn to play bridge again.

I wasn't alone in this desire. I have one daughter who abhors all sitdown games, board, card, doesn't matter she doesn't want to play. We were listening to "The Cardturner" and about halfway through my eldest says "We should really learn to play bridge." A voice from the back seat joins in "Grandma would teach us." "Miss No Games" from the third row back says "I think I could learn to play." I was shocked, but knew then it wasn't just me, this book creates a desire in the audience to play bridge.

Trapp was aptly named!

I have six years to find a job. When my youngest two head to college at the same time additional money sources will be required. Believe it or not when I was young and in the throes of women's liberation, watching weekly protests of all sorts of oppression, I really only wanted to be one thing, and that was a mother. This wasn't something a young college female would admit at that time, well, yes many would admit to the desire for motherhood, but not for the entire stay at home mother package. We were expected to want more, it was the only way you could be fullfilled, that stay at home parenting was so passe, so boring. You would lose yourself and never maximize your potential. Besides, you could always have children AND a job, no problem. 'Twas hogwash then and remains so.

We have learned in the intervening 30 years that parenting in a dual income household is frought with problems. I know I tried it. With only one child and an amazing childcare provider but it was still challenging. I really marvel at those who continue to live that life and wonder what they choose to leave out. Sleep? Family dinner? I know there are omissions because you really can't have it all. I remember trying and exhausting my self and can't imagine how you can do it with teenagers who are so like overgrown toddlers with their needs. I am sure that our plethera of communication choices offers more options for staying in touch, but I know it doesn't replace being there. Raising childen at home is a full time job, so if you work outside the home you have at least two full time jobs, that's 80 hours of work in a good week. When I did work outside the home what I missed most was just not being there to witness the marvel of my children. It is moments that can take your breath away and bring tears to your eyes, and they are just moments, flashes and they are gone and can never be recovered. Somebody else got dozens of those moments with my oldest daughter, moments I missed, that I only heard about and couldn't really treasure as mine.

This raising of children takes time, and it is a race against the clock. What seems like an eternity when they are born becomes frighteningly short as adolescence charges into your life. Not that toddlers don't take time and energy, there were those days when my husband came home to find all 4 of us in tears, but the time is filled with providing. You are cleaning, feeding, chasing, redirecting, exhausted by the routines that make you doubt your stay at home choice. But I am finding the teen years out distance the toddler ones in that time category. They scream for it more often but when offered, it isn't unusual for them to just sulk and ignore you. I have gone for a walk with my daughter, we hoofed it for two hours before her real concerns emerged. What if I didn't have those two hours to give, she would remain anxious and that takes us to worlds we don't care to visit. I find the same is true with many issues, the child will get around to whatever is bothering her only after much time as been invested in gibberish. And the need for parental involvement escalates as well, not again that toddler years aren't filled with dangers, but coffee table collisions trade up to automobile ones. Good choices use to be all about food, and not writing on the walls, but now include sex, drugs, and abandoning parental values. Inserting yourself into the life of a busy teen when you only have an hour is almost impossible.

So I have the job of my choice but my primary employers will be leaving me in a few short years and I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up besides a grandmother. My BC life included full time work in the retail world, and that was never my dream. Regional offices were what I held and the time and travel commitments required I have no desire to resume. So I need to find something new, six years should give me enough time to discover my other passion.

If my current life would just slow down, it would make everything a whole lot simpler.