OMPIYFPIPSAWM

It happens every year, we get two phone calls regarding the Father/Daughter dance and how blatantly unfair it is to call the event a Father/Daughter Dance, because there are some people who don't have a father. My brother suggested an alternative name for the event so as not to offend anyone "Older Male Positive Influence/Younger Female Positively Influenced Physical Social Activity with Music" or OMPIYFPIPSAWM for short. It could work. But it misses the point entirely.

Every young women's first date should be with someone who believes she is truly a gift from God. Who better than her father, one of his jobs is to teach her what to expect from a man and to demonstrate how a woman should be treated. This is the perfect venue for that lesson. There is also an obligation on the part of a male parent to be the earthly example. We pray a prayer that Jesus taught us "The Our Father" why did He give us that? What are we suppose to understand about our heavenly Father, and what image does He expect us to draw from. I wager it is our own earthly daddies who are meant to point us in that heavenly direction, to help us understand just how much He cares.

There is a single mom who's daughter attends every year, and even she said to me as she dropped off her donation this year, it's really about the dads and how special they are. She understands, she knows what a hole the absence of a father leaves in a home. A hole that can be filled by only One. She also has a wonderful daddy.

I feel I am surround by men haters they belittle the need for dads, the need for men. Someone implied the other day that only a female deacon could possibly understand and cure the problem of the priest shortage. I disagree, but that would be another rant. We need to respect the male position in the family and as mothers help dads in those areas, like communication with teen daughters or creating shared experiences, where they sometimes struggle.

We see the impact daily of households headed only by women in our country, we need strong men in positions of leadership in our homes and churches to lead the way for young men. And IMHO this is a job that woman cannot perform. We see it in junior highs boys, there is a loss of respect for the female parent, for female teachers. This is a critical time for the male parent to step up and be the one to primarily discipline the young man or men in his household, also the time to insist that the female parent be respected and treated with courtesy, honor. A dad does this by example and insistance, but if dad is gone this learning can become a challenge for the female parent, finding a male mentor can help facilitate the lesson. All parenting can be challenging that is why we should do it in pairs.

So let's hear it for dads, and not be afraid to use the term father.

I feel a rant coming on, why you ask, all because of the OMPIYFPIPSAWM. It will have to wait till it is safer to rant. Later.

New books

I have just recently finished a few teen tomes and found them satisfying. "Sorta like a Rock Star" by Matthew Quick was a fun over the holiday read. I found the main character impossibly hope filled in the beginning maybe because I am surrounded by such pessimists in my current life, I just couldn't believe anyone living such a life could be so happy and helpful and 17 all at the same time. But by the end of the story I was cheering this young woman on in her quest to save her puppy and in the process her life. An interesting exploration of faith and God also takes place, could be a good discussion book for the girls.

Next I read " I Now Pronounce You Someone Else", really I have a few pages left, but it was another one that I see as a good discussion book for the young ladies. The main character here falls in love, she is also determined to remain a virgin till her wedding, Her virginity isn't the issue here, that is just a personal decision of the young lady and doesn't even have religious roots. The falling in love and what to do about it when you are only a junior in high school is where the conflict lies. I love that she makes wise decisions, listens to friends who care, and realizes how big a step marriage is for a high school student. This is definitely a girl book, filled with romance and heart warming moments. The family relationships add to the topics for discussion, what makes a family, what happens when one becomes broken, and can they ever be fixed? Join Bronwen as she journeys through some tumultuous times.

A recent Alex award recipient "The Room" by Donoghue would also make a great book club read. A young lady is kidnapped at 19 and has lived for 7 years in a 12x12 room with her 5 year old son, held hostage by her captor. A daring escape and the repercussions lead to major character changes and not always what you would hope for or expect. The story is told through the eyes of the young son and his perspective colors yours. I found myself being angry at some of the adults but upon review of their actions found them similar to what I might have done in the same situation. Ma, is your hero while in captivity but she becomes a new and unknown person with the advent of freedom, and her focus shifts so quickly from her son to the outside that I was left wondering if it was the same person. Yet upon considering all that took place, and her goals and the success of those goals, she would need to change her focus pretty dramatically, and quickly. What kept her alive, and sane was her son, she no longer had to fight that battle, just learn to live with the memories.

...So little time...

Do I Out Myself?

I have been asked to give a talk at my church, a 20 minute talk. For starters 20 minutes is a very long time, secondly I am not sure they really want to know my opinion and they might possibly kick me out. Another quandary.

The church I regularly attend is often off in left field in practices and beliefs. While being open and welcoming it occasionally fails in the integrity to our faith principles category. This has been a constant struggle and I am not the only closet conservative in the parish. A number of us actually teach the children weekly, seeing ourselves as preserving the true faith in the generations to come. We have actually considered leaving our parish on more than one occasion, as we live close to at least two other churches that would fill the bill, but we haven't. And now someone has asked me to talk about "What the Roman Catholic Church Means to Us as Women" well, what it means more specifically to me.

There are many answers to this but I guarantee they will not match the reasons of even a few in my audience and many will be appalled. So do I speak my mind, and possibly make life uncomfortable enough that we will have to move on? As open and welcoming as they appear, some are not very welcoming when it comes to those who wish to uphold the teachings of Rome. Hospitality of the warmest sort is reserved for those who condone and hold in esteem a gay lifestyle, who insist that women be admitted to the priesthood, who believe that abortion is truly a woman's choice, who think the problem with a shortage of priests will be improved by allowing priests to marry, who really think men are incapable of running anything and women always do it better, and think the atrocity of pedophilia is a by product of the church's insistence on chastity. If they only knew...It would be back to my Memphis days, Wednesday nights when all the Baptists are out witnessing to everyone at Burger King.

It didn't take long to find out how to rid yourself of the salvation onslaught. And the approach was unavoidable, these folks are truly on a mission, and would speak to everyone in the building before they would leave. You have to admire that kind of passion. As you are just getting ready to sample your flame-broiled selection someone slides into the seat next to you "Have you been saved" is their opening line. "I'm Catholic" became my standard response. This is like a garlic necklace to vampires, the unsuspecting Baptist backs away slowly with the parting response "We'll pray for you." People would be backing away at church like I had the plague.

So I am praying, and waiting and wondering, but still don't know if speaking up will serve any good purpose. And may just bring an end to my clandestine endeavors to save our youth.

Transitions

It was the discussion topic last night at our homeschool parent meeting, transitions. That combined with the new year makes for whirlwind thoughts in my brain. Time for change or just time to improve, or maybe a little of both. My eldest is already in transition, taking college courses, for her last two years of high school, the younger girls just stuck in junior high but we should be gearing up for those high school years. I would like for them to also begin college courses in their junior years so I can avoid teaching calculus and lab sciences. It would effectively end my homeschool hands on time a full year earlier than anticipated. Nice, except I don't know what I want to do with my life.

Lounging at home is out of the question, we will have three in college, which means gainful employment must be in my future. Retirement a distant dream in a fragile bubble. So life in the next few years will be filled with transitions. Scary precipices requiring leaps of faith too often for complacency. What's a mother to do? It is amazing to me how much teenagers still need a mother at home. While they all transition there are frequent explosions, hours of angst, and soulful apologies, that shake a home to the core. So until they are all safely out of the house I feel I must remain in my current unpaid position. It would be nice to find something to do now and smoothly and effortlessly transition to full time when the younger two head off to college. This would avoid transition trauma for me, and make life a little calmer in the intervening years. Eighteen months before I need the brainstorm from which emerges the idea of the century. That and the lottery will keep me from transition trauma.

Happy New Year?

We are days from the beginning of another year, a time when reflection on the past and how to improve the situation are top of mind. I bought a lottery ticket for the first time in 20 years, and of course didn't win last Tuesday, jackpot is now over 200 million, do we need another? Is one dollar the price of hope today? One simple buck and dreams and miracles play in one's brain until the smiling lotto lady dashes them a day or two later. It would be nice, my siblings all agreed to share their 96 million if they won, but holding that ticket would certainly change my life.

Number one my husband's and daughters' anxiety would diminish to the point where I bet we could discontinue therapy within 2 months. Or would all that available cash just cause more worry? I might just have a heart attack when I read off the numbers and realized I had won, and then how in the world does one turn the ticket in without revealing oneself so as to avoid the whole publicity thing and potential thieves. It is beginning to sound complicated. I have to think about this trade off.

I could vastly improve my living conditions, here I see no drawbacks or complications I could even tolerate continued housing within the arctic circle so my daughters could keep their friends as I could actually jet off the warmer climates on a weekly basis if necessary. We would call them "geography lessons" on our homeschooling transcripts.

I could fund our little theatre enterprises including space for whatever we need. Now the only drawback here is I already need a business manager, an accountant, and someone for property management. I think I could handle these complications with the right people in place. This would also allow time for the whole creative aspect of the theatrical business that I do like. I would hire drones as needed too, or maybe just one full time specialist for each technical area that came with the space. That could work, privately funded of course so I don't have to deal with unions. Or wait... will that happen too. Another concern.

We would move but do we change churches? We are a bit entrenched in our current parish, maybe a large donation earmarked for something special before we leave would make departure easier. We should really have moved on three years ago, before we hit the high school problem. Daughter #1 is pretty well schooled in the tenets of her faith, her sisters lack a bit in that area making them less able to defend their faith as they will need to at their current home church, or with their friends. Leaves them much more open to heresy problems. O K this question deserves its' own post and I don't know if it is good or bad so I will just move on.

We would get the cash discount on the dual braces, which would be lovely, and have all the dental nonsense taken care of with nary a concern. Here again no drawbacks it would just make it faster and less painful for the parents. Thinking about this, is insurance necessary for those who have mega millions? I mean does Oprah carry any kind of insurance? And if so why? When all those bills are just inconsequential to your personal budget, wouldn't eliminating the hassle of insurance companies be a dream come true? No pretreatment permission, no referrals, no arguing over what is a medical necessity and what is not, this would keep my mail box much emptier. I guess the car thing you would have to continue, I would push for getting rid of laws that make insurance a requirement, if you can pay your own way why bother.

I could give people jobs, this would be very cool, I could even employ my children if needed. And my special needs girls could go to Landmark for as long as they needed. This would be way fun, we could also visit Vermont and family on a more regular basis, plan family events twice a year, travel, etc. Only challenge here is homeschool becomes more difficult. This shouldn't happen but the fun option sometimes interfere with certain academics. More choices can be overwhelming, I know they learn from all sorts of things but touring Ireland would put algebra on the back burner, and rightfully so but, when do we schedule that math?

Time is running out and this is getting wordy, and I need a lottery ticket. If I win...well, we will live with the consequences tough as it is. And if we don't it will be a good new year anyway.

Happy New Year 2011

Christmas is here! We are settled in and looking forward to an evening with 34 celebrants, lots of laughter, card playing and food. Well I guess Christmas eve is here, but we are celebrating anyway.

We managed to leave town within one hour of our plan, and the house was only a partial disaster area. Thanks to the bigger folks in the household. Number one daughter and co-blogger made herself most helpful, vacuumed and scrubbed so I didn't have to do quite so much. Spousal unit was also in on the house saving mission, we managed to get enough done, leave calmly, without forgetting anything of major importance. Except some make-up, folks will just have to live with the real face this holiday season.