Misquotes

Some of my favorite stories are those of title confusion. I don't correct adults when they mispronounce a book title or author but I have enough maturity to correct the youth who mangle the names of literature's finest and really don't embarrass them. It wasn't me but another women in the store who did one of the fastest accurate guesses I ever heard. A father comes up to the information counter and tells the clerk he needs "Cranberry Story" for his son for school. Our diligent clerk enters the supposed title into the computer and gibberish comes up, nothing that resembles school required reading. She stops for a minute, looking at the screen, and asks the gentleman, "Did you mean the Canterbury Tales?"

" Yeah!! that's it," he exclaims.

Just one more, this actually happened just yesterday. We live in a very culturally diverse area, which is a good thing but it can make communication a challenge at times. A middle aged gentleman with a very strong accent, which I could not accurately identify, approached the help desk. "I would like 'you're not unfrozen freedom', that is the title" I was sure my ancient ears were deceiving me so I asked him to repeat himself.

"You're not unfrozen, freedom, that is the author"

I tried the computer but knew GiGo was in effect, and worked for clarification. "You're, like You Are?"

"Here let me write it for you" he said, and I thanked God.

Jono_ton Frozen Freedom is what he wrote and pointed out that "Freedom" was the actual title. Had I been a regular reader of adult books I most likely would have gotten it at this point, but I read kid books, so I continued my search and discovered a new soon to be published "Freedom" by Jonathan Frazen, success.

What We Call You

If you are a regular shopper at certain stores, you have a name. Besides your regular one, this is one created by the employees of your preferred store. Every retail outlet has its regulars, and employee turnover in retail is notorious. So even regular customer's names get lost in the shuffle.

It begins when someone spots you and needs to tell another employee something they have observed about you. Gossip goes on every where, a sales floor is no exception, we are often petty, sarcastic, politically incorrect, and in need of diversion from the mundane. Conversations and the names that emerge aren't meant to be cruel just accurate. One I remember went something like this:

"Did you see those three girls again, you know the ones with the dark hair."

"Which ones?"

"You know the ones who weekend here because of the free childcare."

"I don't think I know who you are talking about..."

"You know the young ones, they take all the teen magazines and spend hours pouring over them back in Kids"

"I don't think I've ever seen them."

"I know you've seen them, two are extremely pretty and they all dress like hookers."

"Oh, I know who you mean!"

Thus was born "The Three Little Hookers" they came to the store for over 5 years and were often identified by their collective name.

We try to learn and remember names as we chat with regular customers, but are at a distinct disadvantage. We wear name tags and folks can quickly check those and remember who WE are but I have yet to have a customer come in properly labeled. And after you have chatted with someone for months you reach a point where it seems too late for introductions. Even when a customer orders something and you actually get to type their name into a computer, you forget, because you have done this same data entry for 40 other folks that same day and all the names begin to blend.

So we have Crazy Asian Lady, The Math Guy, The Cafe Doctors, Mr. Beatles, Smoke, The Woman with Two First Names, and The Guy Who Does Laps just to name a few. Even the security guys get dubbed something as they are undercover which make introductions to employees on the sales floor hard to accomplish . We had Lurch, Muscle Man, and Mr. Useless, until we finally exchanged names. So this is just fair warning watch what you do at your regular haunts, and remember you are creating a name for yourself.

In the Meantime, Books

Somehow I have to get rid of the missing image box but I don't know where it came from or how to obliterate the darn thing. Must ask the daughter.

So since we can't argue I will muse a bit on books, what I do in my spare time is sell books at the local gynormous book retailer. This happened when a need for some extra cash, a discount on books and respite from homeschooling children all merged. After having twins my passion for reading was being trampled, I didn't have time to finish a book, when a moment to spare with a good book appeared I really just wanted to sleep instead, and often did. So reaching the end of an adult novel didn't happen. But Harry Potter was hot, my oldest had moved into chapter books, and I started reading juvenile literature she brought home from the library, halleluia! I was saved. I could finish a kid's book in an evening or two and along the way discovered I prefer kid's books. At the bookstore I was gladly sent to the children's department and my addiction was fueled to a frenzy. I force myself to read one adult title a month, this is for my grown-up book group, but do it only to assuage my guilt, and find that I infrequently enjoy the titles.

I do lead two mother daughter book groups and have for the past 8 years, we (well mostly daughter #1) are putting together a website to provide help for others who wish to start mother/daughter book groups. It is a tedious process with 12 years worth of material to organize and make pretty and functional. Hopefully we will be up and running some time during the next school year. We usually begin a new book club year with a school story and our younger group will be doing just that with The View From Saturday by Konigsburg. Big girls are already leaving me behind, they are all High School age and we actually read a lot of adult books, if I wasn't the leader, I might quit. Our September selection for group one is Snowflower and the Secret Fan. An adult novel I did enjoy.

If you are interested in amazing school stories for yourself or your children, check out The Wednesday Wars by Schmidt. This book truly has everything. Historical fiction, Vietnam war in the background, family challenges, baseball, track, Shakespeare, camping, a little romance, bigotry, corruption, commentary on standardized testing, bus accidents, two large rats that wreak havoc at various turns, heros in abundance, and Mrs Baker-one amazing teacher. The first time I read this book I was about a third of the way through and this incredible incidence takes place I laughed out loud, cried tears of joy, and looked at the book in my hand, it could have ended for me right there and I would have cheered, but 150 pages remained. I couldn't imagine it getting any better, but you know what it did. This one is a crowd pleaser.

For younger kids get your girls to read The Year of Miss Agnes by Hill, an often overlooked gem, and for boys check out Frindle by Clements really anything by Andrew Clements will do, he has the 7-13 yo range covered and writes mostly school stories. His characters are well developed and his adults are functional, believable, and really care about kids. Very different from the inane, absent, caricatures of adults that appear in some popular children's books. A couple of other not to be missed school stories include Sahara Special by Codell, Ida B by Hannigan, Jennifer Hecate MacBeth William McKinley and Me Elizabeth by Konigsburg, and even though it's out of print check out the library for The Chicken Doesn't Skate by Korman a good boy book that should cause a chuckle or two. The younger set should take a peek at Shredderman by VanDrannen and older kids Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by Lubar. There are lots more but that would be a good start for the school year.